why I do this

Yesterday I was chatting with my friend Bhramara. Our conversation led to my realization of the benefits of writing down my appreciations everyday.

1. It helps me separate my emotions from the reality. There were days when I had a long list of good things but I still ended up feeling crappy. So I think it is easier for me not to let my emotions in control.

2. It helps me live in the moment more. Sometimes when I am about to get frustrated, I say to myself "look, I am enjoying what I am doing now. This is good."

3. It is very rewarding for me to hear people say this is inspiring to them. It makes me feel that I am doing something for God even though initially I was doing this for myself. I continue to be amazed by the way he works.

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I am thankful for
1/29, Thursday
--- getting some work done
--- having the self-discipline not to watch any "how I met your mother" in the afternoon
--- getting 98% of my packing down
--- watching a few more episodes at night
--- chatting with my mom on the phone

1/30, Friday
--- the delicious pork ribs Jinli made
--- my pay check
--- the sunshine
--- boss being out of town
--- having dinner with Jinli at the new sushi place on Plymouth Rd
--- the blessings and trials that God gives us

wondering

I wonder how people would react if I respond with "ah-hahahaha, oh, please!" after they ask about my job, you know, like Barney does all the time.

time to celebrate

--- Happy Birthday, Ciara!
--- One of my friends just got married.
--- My boss will be out of town for the rest of week. Self-discipline, self-discipline! :)
--- Jen and I had a really good chat this morning.
--- My husband had a good day at work today.
--- My moving on Saturday has been planned out. Or I think.

I am grateful that

1/26, Monday
--- I finished reading one paper and wrote one paragraph for my own paper
--- Jinli made dinner for me and extra food for me to bring home
--- Rachel came to my apt to drop off the moving boxes
--- my mom appreciated my advice about my brother
--- my secret santa got me the book I wanted. Now I can read “the screwtape letters” anytime.
--- God has been taking care of our families for us

1/27, Tuesday
--- there is no snow
--- my working time is flexible
--- Brian and I had lunch and caught up a bit with each other
--- I enjoyed watching some “how I met your mother”. It is a very cute show.
--- tonight is the game night at conversation connection. I love games!

Happy Chinese New Year!

I wish you all have a blessed year ahead.

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I am thankful for

1/24, Saturday
--- a sunny day
--- results coming out normal from my eye exam
--- the delicious Indian lunch buffet
--- hanging out with Jinli for the rest of day. We made dumplings and pork rib soup, and watched 3 movies.

1/25, Sunday
--- relaxing at home the entire day
--- the long conversation with my husband
--- watching a movie and some shows on my laptop
--- having packed a few boxes
--- the fact that most of my boxes have been kept packed from my last move
--- being able to call my family without dialing too many times (most of you probably have no idea of how hard it could be to reach a number in China during the Chinese New Year holidays)

God is good to me

These past few days there has been mixed emotions in me. On one hand, I was frustrated by the moving. On the other hand, God amazed me by showing me the opportunities he opened up for me through this little incident. I couldn't have planned a better timing.

I am grateful that my friends have been offering me their ears. Bhramara even offered her place for me to stay if I need to.

I am very thankful that I was able to find a place in such a short time. Tonight I hung out with my future roommate for two hours at sweet waters. We both had a good time, which is quite amazing to me, because we met each other yesterday for the first time.

I can't wait to see what is the gift God has in store for me next.

moving again!

As frustrating as it sounds, I am happy to find that there are quite a few options out there. So should I move back to Greenbrier, or share an apt with another person somewhere else? Also, do I want to live with a puppy?

Maybe I will make a list tomorrow and ask my readers to vote. :)

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--- Some friends gave me valuable input about the housing options.
--- Playing whirlyball was a lot of fun! Especially when you won!
--- The apt I checked out tonight was super cute. And I bumped into my friend Brian P. there. :)

walking home today!

So my car is at the dealer's. They found the leak of the engine cooling system, which is a good thing because they know how to fix it. The part had to be ordered from somewhere else, so I need to walk home tonight and walk to office tomorrow morning. Fortunately it is a little bit warmer outside than yesterday.

I had to cancel what I planned to do tonight. So I will get to stay warm and cozy at home.

Sidenote: I actually didn't walk home because Brian offered me a ride. Thanks!

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1/20, Tuesday
--- I finished the abstract a few hours ahead of the submission deadline, so I didn't need to go through the anxiety attack.
--- The conversation group was fun. I just wish I had given this one guy more encouragement.
--- The engine coolant was able to hold for the day.

a busy week ahead

Tonight might be the only night of this week that I didn't have to go out in the cold.

Anywho, today has its own good and bad. I will spare you the latter, and here are things I am thankful for.

--- My boss liked the abstract I wrote for the conference, which means less revision work for me.
--- The staff at Victory Lane helped me fill up my engine coolant for free! again!
--- I got to talk to Jia on the phone in the afternoon.
--- I want to thank Brian, Jinli and Ciara for offering their ears, and Bhramara for her nice comments about me.
--- The curry chicken I made for dinner tasted pretty good.
--- I did my laundry and I have enough sweaters again. :)
--- I was invited to play whirlyball with the lab upstairs this Thursday. Do I want to be in the same team with my eye candy? hmmm, this is a tough question.
--- I found a used desk for $10 soon after I learned that I need to give up the desk I am currently using.
--- It turned out that my car came with 4-year bumper-to-bumper warranty! So I don't need to worry any more about that I might have to pay big money for some unknown problem with my engine cooling system.

I don't know why I am so frustrated right now. Am I asking too much from my friendships? Maybe I should move on with my own life and stop caring any more. It won't make any difference anyway.

Today it takes a little bit more effort to write down what I appreciated in the past few days.

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1/14, Wednesday
--- Brian and Dem bought me dinner at Seoul Garden as my birthday gift. Thanks guys!
--- There is a possibility that I might be able to go to Lake Tahoe this summer for a conference.
--- How can I resist the $2 latte from espresso royale?
--- My niece chatted with me a bit through MSN. She is so cute!

1/15, Thursday
--- Brian gave me the ride to the airport.
--- Everyone was ok in the LGA plane crash.
--- God gave me the peace over the situation.
--- my friends' prayers
--- I was able to focus on my work for a while at the airport
--- I had a safe flight to NY
--- My husband and I had hot pot at flushing at 10pm (after I ate a burger for dinner at DTW airport)! And it's so good!

1/16, Friday
--- I got quite a bit work done.
--- A few Chinese restaurants are within walking distance so that we can eat out anytime we want.
--- Our dinner was tasty.
--- The night was very relaxing, especially after a long day of hard work

1/17, Saturday
--- We explored a costco store in CT
--- We had friends over for dinner. They seemed to have enjoyed very much the food I made.
--- I didn't feel very tired as I usually do after such occasions.

1/18, Sunday
--- The trips were safe and smooth.
--- Although I wasn't feeling too well right after lunch, I felt fine during the flight. Otherwise it would be terrible.
--- Jinli offered me the ride even without me asking.
--- I enjoyed watching two movies.

I am thankful that

1/12, Monday
--- my boss liked the review I wrote
--- I wrote 500 words for one of my papers
--- the noodles I bought from the korean grocery store tasted pretty good
--- I could be there for a friend when they were in pain, even though all I was doing was simply being there
--- I had a safe drive home

1/13, Tuesday
--- I had the chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl for lunch at Panera Bread
--- my boss is not in town so that I could take it easy today
--- many people came to conversation group despite the cold weather
--- God has been good to me

I am thankful that
--- a friend went to church with me
--- I had rice noodle soup for lunch at saigon garden
--- my friend bought me a latte
--- I had half zingerman's sandwich for dinner
--- I worked for half hour at night

good stuff

1/9, Friday
--- it was fun playing foosball again with Brian
--- the road wasn't too bad when I drove home from work
--- I enjoyed reading "stumbling on happiness"

1/10, Saturday
--- my bug bites became much less itchy
--- I was able to reschedule my eye exam appointment so that I didn't have to drive
--- I had fun taking a walk in the fresh, dry snow with my roommates
--- my roommates brought back home my favorite zingerman's sandwich for my dinner
--- I watched several good movies at home
--- I had popcorns while watching movies

randomness

--- "Children will play an important role in your life", says my fortune cookie today. Oh shoot, so now I have to have at least 2 children!

--- If we view our future self as another person (this idea is stolen from a book), we would find that we often screw up our future self's life even though we have the best intention. Yet we are forgiven each time.

perspectives

Yesterday (1/8) wasn't swell. However, writing down my daily appreciation has helped me with my perspectives. After taking a minute to review my day, I decided that it wasn't too bad either.

--- I finished one of the reviews, no matter how irritated I was during the process.
--- A friend showed me their effort in keeping our friendship go strong.
--- I enjoyed watching a couple of shows tonight (love the new romance in "grey's anatomy"!).
--- My friend Jia is having a good recovery.
--- My boss is out of town, which means I can focus on the other review without being interrupted and maybe come home early tomorrow.
--- Nothing bad happened.
--- I have been blessed in many ways.

I am grateful that

1/6, Tuesday
--- I got home safely last night although the highway was as slippery as the ice rink and there were multiple accidents within our 10-mile drive
--- my friend Xin offered to bring something to my parents for me (please pray for her dad's health condition)
--- I had a good chat with Ying on gchat in the afternoon (she has been extremely busy)
--- Rachel made me a scarf which is very warm and pretty

1/7, Wednesday
--- the hot water came back so that I could finish my shower
--- our apartment has hot water everyday (it is sort of a luxury in China just in case you didn't know)
--- my presentation went well (or I think)
--- I saw my eye candy at the meeting :)
--- I got home before the snow got too bad
--- I was able to communicate my concerns directly without offending the other person or being passive aggressive
--- "the big bang theory" cracked me up

frustrated

I have been feeling that I am losing my best friend.

We tend to use other people's reaction as a mirror to see what kind of person we are. I am trying not to do that. Otherwise I would feel I suck at relationships and I am needy and ungrateful, which is not the truth about me.

I have been a good friend. I am grateful for things my friends have done for me. It is just that sometimes our own brokenness hurts each other. I understand that they might not be capable of opening up or reaching out because of the issues in their lives, but I need to let them know that it hurts me when they withdraw without saying anything, which actually happened before.

The worst thing that will happen is that I just have to let go part of this friendship. And I will communicate directly with her instead of ranting here before I do that.

I feel blessed that
--- the guys at victory lane helped me check my engine coolant and fill it up for free
--- I finally got my car washed
--- I enjoyed the cup of latte from starbucks
--- one of the reviews I am working on turned out to be much less time-consuming
--- I will get to watch "slumdog millionaire" this weekend (can't wait!)
--- I can watch more "grey's anatomy" tonight
--- my dinner is all-set because I have left-overs from last night
--- I was able to upgrade my desktop memory all by myself
--- it is easy for me to write down this list

reminder

I wanna see these movies:
Slumdog Millionaire
Revolutionary Road
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

my hopes in the new year

(I don't want to call them my new year resolution, because they are not really in my control.)

1. Get closer to God, including knowing him better and serving him more;
2. God keeps our families safe and healthy;
3. become more disciplined and focused;
4. spend less of my time and energy on people who do not value them;
5. waste less time on internet;
6. spend less money on non-necessities;
7. learn three useful tools, such as certain programming skill, or basic photographing technique, or pick up French.

back to MI

My husband and I drove to Flushing first to have lunch. Everything was delicious, including the iced tea.

The flight was on time. I read a good portion of "in his image" during the flight. Jinli was already waiting outside when my plane landed. The weather was warmer than I expected. Then we had dinner together at Asian Legend. All is good.

I am grateful that

1/2,Friday
--- I had the strength not to surf the internet
--- I got some work done
--- I still enjoyed watching "grey's anatomy"
--- I had some self time since my husband was at work
--- the sweet popcorn I bought from the chinese grocery store was really good
--- chinese grocery store and restaurant are within walking distance

1/3, Saturday
--- the weather was super nice during the day
--- I got to watch some more "grey's anatomy"
--- I wrapped up one of things on my to-do-list
--- we had dim sum for lunch
--- we had a lot of fun playing wii fit
--- my husband liked the dishes I made for dinner (or my husband has really low expectation now for my cooking)
--- being a good influence on other people's life can be so effortless sometime
--- God is in charge

Happy New Year!

The last day of 2008 started with the warm and encouraging words from a dear friend. Then my husband and I walked to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch since I love one of their pastas. We walked around the mall after lunch, where he got nice BR pants for only $17 and I found a pair of comfy boots from easy spirit. For the rest of day we just relaxed at our apartment, which was quite necessary because we were still sore from the skiing. I also got to chat with several friends on the phone and wished them a happy new year.

The first day of 2009 was bright and sunny. We walked to the chinese grocery store and bought some delicious snacks. Then my husband watched the football which his university won. In the meanwhile, I surfed the internet and read a nice love story. :) After taking a nap, we went to the Queens area and met up with two friends to play bowling. It was fun, and we even won a free game! After we finished two games, we had some good food at a taiwanese restaurant. We didn't hit any traffic at all on our way there or back home.

May God be with you and bring many blessings into your life in 2009!