a string to connect pieces of my life

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

fat cute bunny

Tonight I went to a friend's house. They have a cute bunny. It was running around when we were talking. And it was like a real pet. Sometimes it would jump onto the couch and hang out by my friend's laps.

When I tried to pat her, her whole body would first tremble for a few seconds and then relax. Her fur is so soft. And she is so fat that she is probably heavier than most cats.

For the first time of my life I started to think bunnies might not be that bad.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

busy busy busy

I don't know what happened, but this weekend I surely feel like a hampster spinning the wheel non-stop.

Actually, I did have time to watch a movie, play online card games, and go to church. But there are a lot of stuff pressing on my mind that need to be finished soon.

Yesterday I made the draft for my talk at Conversation Connection. More pictures need to be added. And preferrably a few more slides.

The classnotes from last week are still intact. Not only did I have to read them, I also need to finish homework problems before this Wednesday.

I need to two papers writen by my officemate which are related to my own research. In addition, I am helping another officemate proof-read her dissertation.

On top of everything, I haven't done anything recently to put my dissertation into publications. And things with my research have been going slowly. I need to put more time and effort in it.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

"The Fountain" (spoiler alert)

I love the wolverine in "X-men". Consequently (or the other way around), I like Hugh Jackman. This evening I watched one of his movies "The Fountain".

It is odd. I dare not say that I understood it. And it made me somehow depressed for 10 mins.

Anyway, here is this one scene I would like to share with my readers.

Hugh Jackman was looking for "the tree of life" based on the message in Genesis. After all the hardship he finally found it. He cut the trunk with his knife. When one drop of the liquid from the tree touched the ground, some green plant emerged and blossomed with white flowers. He was so excited, and he put some liquid on his wound. It healed intantly. He then drank earnestly the fluid from the tree.

Suddenly the same green plant grew from his wounds. He freaked out and wanted to pull it out. And the second he pulled it out, it emerged again. In the mean time, the plant started to grew from every part of his body. Soon only a small field of green plants with white flowers was left where he used to be, near "the tree of life".

Funny. Or gross.

It also reminded me of this verse.

Luke 9:24: "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."


"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ---Mother Teresa

I have been reading this book "boundaries". While it points out many facts that I couldn't clearly see by myself, I dislike its solutions. It quoted the Bible and claimed to be a Christian book. I found this claim quite irritating. I mean, any book can probably find some quotes from the Bible to support its arguement, but it doesn't make the book any more Christian than other books.

Do we need to say no sometimes? Definitely. But when?

Do we need to choose friends who can lift us up and purge toxin out of our lives? Sure. But is that all?

To me, it is very tricky.

My guess is that it all depends on our hearts. What is our truest intention of saying no or staying away from certain people? Are we simply seeking the maximum befenit for ourselves? Or is it based on love? Does our action draw us closer to who God intends us to be?

I just started reading another book "Sacred Pathways", which defines 9 major spiritual temperaments. During the "caregiver" section, it used Mother Teresa as an example, saying something like caregiver type of people get energized by helping others while "we" can get worn out.

Well, here is what Mother Teresa said: "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. "

She probably struggled as much as we do. But she was doing what God commands every single one of us to do. Love each other, not just our friends or family.

If it is easy to do, Heaven would be very crowded.

Monday, January 21, 2008

for the sake of update

1. I cooked today. It was the result of peer pressure. In my current office my colleagues bring homemade food to lunch almost every single day. So I couldn't stand firm and eat my frozen food, because I don't have good excuses not to cook except for my laziness.

2. I knocked down a bowl half full with fried rice. It was heart-breaking. It took me 15 mins to pick up the rice from the floor. No wonder Americans eat bread!

3. I am almost ashamed to admit that I enjoy my boss' class. I even like doing the homeworks. So nerdy.

4. I watched "Evan Almighty" this weekend. It is not bad at all. There are some good messages in it. I was touched at one point. Maybe I will buy the combo if they sell it together with "Bruce Almighty"

5. Now I am having a weird logic while dealing with stuff. When I need to decide whether or not I should do something, I tend to ask myself "what if I die soon" or "what if he/she dies tomorrow". I know, very freaky. Yeah, the topic of death has been a frequent visitor to my mind.

(this picture made me giggle for quite a while)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

bad and good

It is as if when you reach certain age, you start to hear more news about illness and death. It is not even about people of the same age or older. It comes from everywhere.

I dislike any form of departure. People who love each other should be able to stay together forever.

Although it's just the beginning of 2008, I have already received many blessings in my life. I am very grateful for everything. What I need is more faith, strength and wisdom. Can never have too much of them.

Monday, January 14, 2008

another problem solved

Our office had been cruelly cold ever since I got here, no matter how we adjusted the thermostat. However, when I came to pick up something yesterday, it was supprisingly warm.

This morning an idea suddenly hit me. So I moved my computer which was close to where the thermostat is installed. In less than a minute warm air started to pour out of the ventilation outlets from the ceiling.

Apparently, the heat blown from the computer made the thermostat falsely think the room was already warm enough. It is so simple, yet it still takes some serious thinking.

Well, I am glad.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


I am not good at giving compliments. What's worse is that I don't really know how to respond to them either.

When people tell me something nice about my clothes or hair, or what I did, if what they said is real compliment, I will probably tell them plainly where/how I buy it and get it done.

When I feel the compliment is out of the blue, I would say "oh". And after 10 mins, I realize I should say "thank you" anyway. By that time the person would be long gone thinking I am rude.

Friday, January 11, 2008

my precious harddrive

I stayed up late to organize stuff in my external harddrives. One of them was bought 2 years ago. I backed up some data and put it aside. Then last year when I tried to use it again, nothing came out. I was sad at that point.

Under some professional advice, I bought a new harddrive enclosure from amazon. Last night I hooked it with the heart of my old harddrive, and BOOM, it worked!!!

I was excited all that the music files I accumulated in years have come back to me, plus some old photos, MSN history with some friends, etc.. Ahh, good times.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Happy Anniversary!

My dear blog,

Happy Anniversary!

yours forever,

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

frustrated, again!

I have been working on the same problem for about two months, but little progress has been made. It is a totally different field. I feel I have been doing something I am not really good at. For someone who might be familiar with this field, that problem could be a piece of cake.

Maybe it is time for me to find a real job that I am good at, like a test engineer.

dream on

I use this title only because it is on the classic rock radio station right now.

The holidays ripped off my spirit to come to work. These two mornings I felt dreadful. The night before yesterday I asked a person to kill me in my dream.

It is so easy to lose the right perspectives. Am I wasting my time away? A few friends I talked to recently mentioned how they were serious about what they want to do in the future. Then I faintly remembered that I have a purpose here too.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

feeling funny

On one hand, I am totally wired by the huge amount of coffee I have been drinking. On the other hand, I feel I am going to catch a cold.

No one else in my group showed up, which kind of makes me feel good, although I am not doing much myself.

Sidenote: human body is a wonder. The more I read about it, The more I am amazed.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

something to learn everyday

"Contact inhibition" means that cells stop growing or even die when in contact with neighboring cells.

This property can be used to identify cancerous cells which usually keep growing regardless of cell contact.

Currently listening to:

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

2007 was an eventful year for me. Luckily everything turned out alright.

I hope you all have a good new year ahead of you!