maybe i should go back to this because it's easier this way

I love the onion bagel with cream cheese that I just ate. Hmm, so good.

Usually I don't like the cloudy weather before the rain, but it fits me today.

I am thankful that I could focus on my work for a certain amount of time everyday.

My dad prepared plenty of food for me for this entire week.

an update, and some more

I had a great weekend. Although there was a lot of driving, I felt heavily blessed for the weather, our safety and all the fun we had. The forecast said raining all weekend, but it stopped after we got to traverse city. And Saturday was all blue sky and cool breeze. My parents and my husband enjoyed very much the stunning view of the dunes and the beautiful beach at grand haven. We are planning another trip back to the beach.

I got to have dinner with Xin this evening. She is doing great at her job, and she truly deserves it. I have also been working hard on my papers, which kind of makes me think it might not be totally impossible for me to pursue academia. However, I am already having a hard time finding the balance between my life and my work. I can't imagine how stressed I would be if I were her.

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Maybe God uses difficult choices to help us see what is more important to us. From time to time I whine to God "take me away" when I feel so sick and tired of this world. However, that's probably not the way it should be. God is not my backup plan.

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Work could be comforting because you usually get the fruit of what you put in. On the other hand, relationships are more risky. Sometimes we screw up badly, yet we are given a second chance. Sometimes we pick up a great relationship easily along the road. Sometimes we work hard on it, but there is nothing to harvest. Fortunately it's all part of his plan.

so to summarize

I had a good weekend.
---I got to spend time with my family.
---We had friends over for dinner.
---We played cards everyday.
---I had a lot of food.
---My husband bought me a lovely purse.

And I am looking forward to a long weekend by the beach!

I need you

God, I need you for the wisdom to know what is good and the strength to make the right choice.

I need you to take over every time when I am about to choose

...my pride over being humble.

...fighting back over showing grace.

...irritation over patience.

...guilt over peace.

...my pleasure over you.

recommend a blog (Thanks Brian for sharing)

This is great:

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/06/562-making-god-almost-all-powerful.html

oh, and this one.

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/07/579-forgiving-people-who-didnt.html

Mirror Mirror

As some of you might recognize this title, I did watch a couple of House espisodes this weekend. In this specific episode, this patient mimicked and emotionally empathized with whoever played the dominant role around him.

I have found that I often possess the same syndrome. I let my emotions heavily affected by people I care about, and consequently lose sight of what God has in store for me.

There is probably nothing wrong to have this syndrome. What is wrong is that I mistake some human beings instead of God to be the dominant role. When they expose their imperfection inevitably, I am doomed to be dragged down with them.

The solution is right there in the light, which is letting God take control of my life, but it is a constant struggle to carry it through.

ay, parents!

It's awesome to have them here. Too bad I have to leave them with my husband next week.

In some way I am treating them like kids. They are curious about things and want to explore the places, but they don't have a cell phone with them, so I get worried.

This morning I dropped them off at Busch's and left my phone with them. When I called them around noon, they just got off the bus and apparently walked toward the wrong direction. After 15 mins, I called them again to see if they got home finally. They didn't answer the phone. Then I made a quick trip back home to check on them.

I imagine it would be so much harder for me to let go my child if I ever have one. There is really nothing much I can do. I can only trust in God for the protection I need for all my loved ones.

God has been good to me

I am very thankful for my parents' safe trip and all the trips I have been taking.

He has given me the strength to do the work I don't want to do.

He has been watching over my relationships.

He is the comfort to my heart when I feel down, irritated, angry, or sad.

He is the only steady force in my life.