if this is what you wished for me

I wasn't going to post this today, then I couldn't help thinking that it might be good for today's theme, though it's not just about my dad.

I have been so blessed to have wonderful parents. They are both smart, caring, enthusiastic about life and very reasonable. And they have always been loving me and supporting me no matter what happens.

It is interesting that I used to think I was more like my mom, whose major was Chinese literature. Now that I am more mature, I realize that I actually have an engineer's mind just like my dad. He was a chemical engineer, and so is my brother.

During my youth, my parents tried their best to take good care of almost everything for me, which might not be the best way for forming my character, but I knew this was how they loved me. And I deeply appreciate that.

Now my parents are staying with me for a short visit. Well, some of my friends might consider a month with parents too long, but not for me. This is the second time I can be with them in the past five years, and I don't know when will be the next time.

Besides, since they don't know much English, everyday going out by themselves is like an adventure to them. After I got home in the evening, my mom would tell me what happened to them, and sometimes it really cracked me up because I had no idea of how they could deal with the communication. Anyhow, they did it. They even argued with the store about the wrong label once.

Usually I'd say to people that I don't really have regret for my life, for what happened is all my own choice. But whenever I think of the day when I had the biggest fight with my mom in my whole life, that I watched through the window her walking away by herself and later on I realized that she just knew that she got diabetes, I can't forgive myself for hurting someone who loved me and I loved this much.

My dad was a manager before he retired. When I was young, I thought he could solve any problem for this family. In our Vegas trip, I became the one to take care of everything. I know if it's not due to the language, my dad would love to do all the work. Being stronger and more independent is a good thing to me, but sometimes deep in my heart I wish I would never grow up and never have to deal with anything by myself.

It makes me sad to think that I still can't make a stable living as they wished while I don't know how to stop them from getting older and older.

My dad kept saying that he wants to come back to US for at least two more times. One is for helping me decorate my house, and one for taking care of my child, his grandchild. My mom hopes to plant something in the front yard of my house. She always loves plants and flowers.

I have no vision of any of those happening in the near future yet. But, mom and dad, I'd love to see all your wishes come true soon.

Because, as long as you want, as long as I have.