If I won...

(Before all these, I owe special thanks to Brian for being my regular blog reader and the only one who left comments this month.)

Oscar(leading actress): I never dreamed this could really happen. (certainly it won't) Thank the Academy for giving me this honor (they must be blind). I am thrilled to be in this category with so many talented actress. And I wanna thank Ang Lee for giving me this role and having faith in me (Ang Lee, if you are reading my blog, please call me. My number is 123-456-7890). Thank you all.

Nobel Prize(physics): I am very glad that I solve the Navier Stokes equations for all types of flows. No more students have to suffer from fluid dynamics. Thank you for giving me this prize so that I can finally set my defense date. My committee probably will never let me graduate if I didn't win. Mom and dad, now you can tell your friends that I will definitely graduate this year.

Grammy(record of the year): If it's not for the person who created CoolEdit software, I won't be able to stand here. I must thank my advisor for providing the recording facility (the computer). And my colleagues, for not coming to the office during the weekend so that I can record the whole album without any interruption. Also, I'd like to thank those websites where I can still download songs for free. Sorry that I can't specify their address now.

Pulitzer(autobiography): I don't know what to say. I thought it might be worthwhile to write down how I won the Oscar, the Nobel Prize and the Grammy during my PhD career. I didn't expect anything else besides "weekly best-selling book". Well, thank you for giving me this honor. I am truly blessed.

In reality: I'd like to thank Rackham for giving me this fellowship. I wanna thank my advisor Prof. Ceccio for his support and patience with me. (I couldn't find Steve at that moment. It turned out he was on the phone outside the room) Well, he was here a moment ago. Maybe he doesn't want to be recognised as my advisor. Thank you all for being here.