a string to connect pieces of my life

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I was really pissed off last night when I went to bed. One of my colleagues made me look bad in his email to me and my boss, despite all the hard work I had done for the paper. I was lying there thinking of the words I could say to fight back. Then my sense gradually came back to me. Why I am valuing what he said so much? Or why am I valuing how my boss sees me so much? Why can't I focus on the blessings that have been given to me? Where am I putting God when I am with anger? Which way is the direction to honor God? Of course, I still tossed and turned for a while before I had a good sleep.

The good news is that both reviews came back rather positive. However, I started to think "hey, it's not impossible. Maybe I could do something for my career after all". Sometimes focusing on my work can make me feel alive and refreshed. This is a scary thought, considering my current situation. And I know for sure that if I keep doing that I would be so stressed out and it would not be worth it. I have to ask myself "what are the things that are the most important in my life? ", and trust that God would provide even though I am out of job and he knows what is best for me. I need to let go my desire of taking control.


At 2:31 PM, Blogger Brian said...

Good job refocusing on what is actually important in the midst of your anger. That is not easy to do.

Congrats on the postive reviews!


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